My touch pad died, which I may have mentioned. I now have a mouse, one
of the detached kind. I hate it and possibly I can alleviate the hate by
turning it into a left-hand mouse, and perhaps changing some setting or
other that makes it usable by seasoned citizens.

So question 1: is there such a thing as an external touch pad? If so I
think that might be better for me than the mouse.

Question 2: any ideas on how to get up to speed mouse-wise and/or would
it be OK to go out into the middle of the street and start screaming.

Just ranting here. When life decides to kick you, it doesn't hold back.

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